it's amazing the power of a first time.
especially when you've waited all your life to get there.

A first real boyfriend.
a first real date.
and a first kiss.

To catch everyone up, i've got a boyfriend. Michael Cina. Mike for short, Hannibal is my pet name for him. he's almost 18 years old and i met him a little over a week ago. he lives 50 minutes away so we're attempting at a long distance relationship.
and for the first time in my life, a boy actually wants to be with me. not for sex. for love.

and to think just a day before- the night before actually- i had told Jenna there was no way i was getting a boyfriend because i'm too obnoxious. to think i had just said "screw it all" to relationships right now.
to think God would give me one when i had just told Him at camp that i was lonely and needed companionship of some kind. i didn't ask for anything, i just told Him what i'd like. and He gave me Mike.

Mike and i have been talking every night since we met. i've gotten to know him well but i'm withholding info about me from him. he's learned a lot about me though already. it's nice to know there's someone who knows what Raider is and knows how important it is that i get enough sleep that night. it's nice to know there's a boy who likes me even though i'm chubby. it's nice to know there's a boy who thinks i'm the most beautiful girl by far.

we went on our first date today. the mall. cliche, yes, but when you're in a long distance relationship, you'll take anything just to see him again. we went with intentions to watch Harry Potter.
his mom was so sweet. Mike came in to find me and told me to get my tickets while he went to find his mom. when he came back, his mom said she'd already bought me one! only problem was, i had already gotten mine! i thought it was sweet. then she got us all concessions (i pleaded her not to buy me anything; she nor Mike listened lol) and we sat down at a table. after a few minutes, she went inside to get a seat and left us and Mike's little brother Chris outside to hang out. Mike tried to hold my hand but i played hard to get. and oh i paid dearly for it! when we went inside, we went to the very top corner. his bro sat like 9 seats away.
Mike and i cuddled while the previews began. after a few minutes, he leaned in to kiss me....but pulled away before my lips could meet his! he teased me like this for like 5 minutes. i gave up and just leaned against him and put my head on his shoulders. after a few minutes, Mike tilted my head and kissed me for a minute.
and that's when everything became.
it was perfect. no words to explain it.

i realized something else too.
there's that saying "Sixteen and never been kissed." well i used to be bummed about that because i was 17 before i got my first kiss.
then i realized how just perfect that was.
i was never really excited about my 16th year but i always looked forwards to my 17th. and it's been a good year. just look at my previous journals. i got to perform in front of hundreds at TPAC, i got my band started and for my first kiss to happen too....man my 17th year might just be my best ever!

anyways, feel free to pray for my man and i and our new relationship. i'm kinda excited and flattered- he says he's going to work hard to keep me. i think he really likes me.